Matsalar dangantakar tsakanin surukarta da surukata, mai yiwuwa, ya bayyana a lokacin da samari suka fara yin aure. Tun daga wannan lokacin, shekaru da karni, matayen surukin suna kokawa akan halin mahaifiyarsu da kuma sha'awar shiga cikin dangin wani. Amma idan akalla mijin da hankali ya bi matarsa kuma ya dauki ta gefe, to, wannan matsala ta fi sauki don yin yaki. Amma ta yaya za a yi aiki a yayin da miji yana gefen mahaifiyarsa?
Na farko, don magance wannan matsala, kana buƙatar fahimtar abin da ke haifar da halin wannan mahaifiyar mahaifiyar ƙaunatacce. Tabbas, kowane iyali yana da dokoki da dokoki nasa, saboda haka yana da wuya a daidaita da hanyar rayuwar wani. Zai yiwu, a wasu lokuta, kana buƙatar duba kanka. Ya faru cewa surukarta ba ta jin shawara da ra'ayoyin surukarta, koda lokacin da ta dace. Don haka, kokarin kwantar da hankulanku kuma ku yi la'akari da yanayin. Wataƙila kana buƙatar yin ƙunci, don haka miji da surukarta sun yi farin ciki, kuma a cikin iyalinka, rikice-rikicen ba ta ɓace ba.
Mama tana da kyau
Amma idan kun fahimci cewa mijin da mijinta ba daidai ba ne, to, kuna bukatar fara farawa don kare hakkinku a cikin iyali. In ba haka ba ba ƙaunarka za ta zauna a gefen mahaifiyarka ba, kuma dole ne ka yi biyayya ko ka bar. Domin fahimtar yadda za ayi aiki mafi kyau, kana buƙatar sanin dalilin da ya sa miji yana koyaushe a gefen mahaifiyarsa. Mafi sau da yawa, wannan yakan faru ne lokacin da wani saurayi ya girma a cikin iyalin da bai cika ba ko kuma a cikin iyali inda mahaifiyarsa ke jagorantar da ita, kuma mahaifinsa ya kasance a cikin matsayi na biyu. A wannan yanayin, sananne, kuma mafi mahimmanci ya nuna cewa mijinki ya gaskanta cewa mahaifiyarka a koyaushe kuma a kowane abu daidai. Hakika, ita ne ta tayar da shi, ta taimaki kome, ta kula. A irin wannan yanayi, kada kuyi fada da surukar mahaifi a fili. Gaba ɗaya, bazai buƙatar magana game da miyagun abubuwa game da mijinta ba, zagi shi, ku kasance masu lalata. Ka tuna wannan shine, na farko, uwarsa. Kuma mahaifiyar mutum ce mafi tsada, kuma idan wani ya raina mahaifiyarsa, har ma da matarsa, mutum zai fara kare ta, yana ganin a cikin mahaifa mahaifiyar magabcin. Saboda haka, ko da lokacin da fushi ya fara farawa a kan gefen - hana kanka. In ba haka ba kai kawai kamar mutum ne mai tsinkaye. Ka yi kokarin yin magana a hankali tare da mijinki kuma ka tabbatar da cewa ka girmama uwar surukinka, ka mutunta hikimarta da kwarewa, duk da haka, kana da halinka, ra'ayi da fahimtar yanayi daban-daban. Don haka kawai ka tambayi shi yayi la'akari da kowane halin da ake ciki, ba tare da bin ra'ayin ba "mahaifiyata ta ce," "wannan shine abin da matar ta ce," kuma tana wakiltar bangarorin biyu kamar yadda suke fitowa da ra'ayinsu kuma suna ba da hujja. Wace hujjojin su ne mafi dacewa da ma'ana - wannan daidai ne. Amma ga surukarta, a wannan yanayin, irin wannan tattaunawa ba zai yiwu ba. Gaskiyar ita ce, ana amfani da waɗannan mata don magance ɗan su a matsayin ƙaramin yaro wanda mahaifiyarsa zata iya taimakawa. Ku zauna tare da surukar mahaifiyar ku, kada ku yi jayayya, kuma idan akwai zarafi - kawai kuyi hanya. Idan mijin ya ga cewa hukunce-hukuncenku sun fi dacewa da ma'ana, hankali zai kasance a gefe ku.
Mama ta dan mama
Akwai maza da ake kira "'ya'yan mama". Irin wannan matasan suna da masaniya a ɓoye a bayan uwar ta daga duk matsaloli da matsaloli. A wannan yanayin, yana da matukar wuya a canza namiji. Gaskiyar ita ce ba ya so ya dauki gefenku, saboda ta wannan hanya, kamar dai kin hana kula da uwar. Don haka yanzu dole ne ya amsa wa kansa. A wannan yanayin, abinda kawai zai iya taimakawa shine ya nuna wa mijinka cewa kana shirye ya maye gurbin mahaifiyarsa kuma ya ɗauki dukan matsalolinsa. Duk da haka, yi tunanin kanka ko kana buƙatar yaron maimakon mutum wanda zai kasance har zuwa tsufa, kuma dole ne ka yi duk abin da shi, sannan kuma ka saurari maganganun. Saboda haka, idan ka ga cewa wani mutum ko da yaushe kuma don wani dalili ya yi wa mahaifiyarsa, yana da kyau a yi tunani game da shi, ko da kafin aure, ko za ka iya jure wa irin wannan abu.
Gaba ɗaya, baza'a iya samun harshen na kowa tare da surukarta ga kowane suruki ba. Amma matan da suka iya lura da rashin sanyi, suna rayuwa mafi kyau fiye da wadanda suke fama da yaki da iyayensu.