Don na biyu wani mutum mai ban mamaki ya zama aboki da sani. Ba kome ba cewa wannan ba nau'inka bane: ba bayyanar ko halayyar tana taka muhimmiyar rawa ...
Da kasancewar ƙauna a farkon gani abu ne mai rikitarwa. Mutane da yawa sun gaskata cewa a farkon 'yan seconds akwai sha'awar kawai da janyewa, da kuma ƙauna - jin dadi, gwajin lokaci. Duk da haka, kamar yadda ya juya, babu wasu masu shakka. Bisa ga binciken da Cibiyoyin Rasha suka gudanar don Nazarin Hulɗar Jama'a, kashi 59 cikin dari na Rasha sun yi imani da kasancewar ƙauna a farkon gani, kuma 45% suna da soyayya a wannan lokacin. Yawanci dukkanin mawuyacin hali tsakanin matasa da auren, kuma, wanda ya fi dacewa, mutane masu shekaru 45 zuwa 59. Mutane da yawa sun yarda da cewa soyayya shi ne wani abu da mata sukan fi tunani akai akai. Yi imani, duk fina-finai, jarabawa, waɗanda suka fi dacewa da jima'i na gaskiya, suna dogara da labarun launi. Amma, kamar yadda ya faru, mazaunin mu na da ƙauna, kuma fiye da rabi na mata (52%) suna da'awar cewa ba su jin wannan ji. Duk da haka, wanzuwar ƙauna a gaban farko an gane shi ne ta hanyar daidaita mata da maza.
Wannan shi ne namu. Kuma menene suke tunanin wannan batu a wasu ƙasashe? An san su da girman kai da haɗin kai, Birtaniya, wadanda suka yi imani da gaske cewa 'yan mata da maza na gaskiya kada su nuna ra'ayoyinsu, ba shakka, sun tabbata cewa ƙaunar da take gani ba ta wanzu ba. Sun yi bincike fiye da 100 ma'auratan Birtaniya da kuma bayyana cewa suna da cikakken alhakin cewa a farkon lokacin taron akwai tausayi ko sha'awar. A ra'ayinsu, ƙauna ita ce kallon lokacin gwadawa kuma ya bayyana ne kawai idan ma'aurata suka san juna da kyau. Wannan ya dauki akalla shekara daya. Amma Ingilishi sun tabbata cewa maza suna da karfi sosai kuma sun fi ƙauna fiye da mata.
Kamfanin "ma'aikata na mafarki" na Amirka yana farin ciki da fina-finai wanda ake farin ciki da iyalinsa da "aljanna a cikin gida". Da alama babu sauran al'umma mai ƙauna da ƙauna. Amma, ba wani asiri ba cewa duniyar fina-finai da kuma ainihin duniya basu da kama. Duk da haka Amirkawa sun kasance mutane masu yawan gaske, kuma kashi 51 cikin dari sun tabbata cewa babu wata soyayya a farko. An yi imani da cewa wannan zai yiwu, 47%, kuma sun sami wannan ji kawai 28%. Wakilin Washington Post ya ruwaito cewa mutanen Amirka, kamar mu, sun fi son yin tunanin irin wannan ƙauna, musamman ma tsofaffi - daga 45 zuwa 54. Da kyau, samari mafi yawan gaske sunyi imani da halin da take faruwa a wannan lokaci. Amma masana kimiyya a wannan kasa sun sami damar tabbatar da kimiyya cewa akwai ƙauna da gaske a farkon gani. Masu bincike na Chicago sun tabbata cewa 'yan dan lokaci ne kawai ya isa mutum ya fada cikin ƙauna. Kuma wannan jin dadi ba ya raguwa, kuma ko da yake an haife shi a cikin 'yan lokuta, zai iya zama na tsawon shekaru.
Amince, ƙauna shine ƙananan dogaro ga tunani. Mutane da yawa sun gaskata cewa an yi aure a sama. Ya faru cewa mutane na tsawon shekaru suna tabbatar da kansu da sauransu cewa soyayya shi ne fata, wani abu ne na ƙwararrun gidaje. Amma, wata rana sun rasa kawunansu, kuma ba za su sake musun kasancewarta ba. Ƙaunar da farko shine kyauta ne daga sama, ba mutane da dama suke sarrafawa ba. Sabili da haka, kama wani mutum akan ku, kada ku yi gudu don gudu da boye. Wataƙila wannan shine wanda kake nema, wanda wanda aka ƙaddara maka ya ciyar da sauran rayuwanka. Zai yiwu, soyayya shi ne wani abu ba tare da wanda mutum ba zai iya rayuwa ba. In ba haka ba, me ya sa aka rubuta littattafai da waƙa da yawa game da shi, me yasa duk fina-finan ke nuna game da ƙauna, kuma yawancin mata suna jin daɗin idan babu wani mutum mai auna da ganewa a kusa. Gaskiyar cewa ƙaunar da gaske ke kasance a kallo ta farko yana ba da damar sa zuciya cewa wata rana ba za a kasance mutum ɗaya kaɗai ba, bayan da duka, don neman mutum mai rai, wani lokacin yana daukan na biyu.