Mahimmanci, mata suna tunanin soyayya a matsayin dangantaka tsakanin mutane biyu, mutuntawa da fahimta - wannan shine ainihin abinda yake son sha'awar mata. Bisa ga tunanin mata, namiji dole ne ya kare mace, bada kyauta , kare, da sauransu, da sauransu. Irin wannan ra'ayoyin mata suna wanzu. Haka ne, kuma suna da cikakkarsu. Mace kullum yana so ya ji kalmomi masu kyau a cikin jagorancinta, yana so ya karɓi kyauta daga ƙaunata, kamar lokacin da aka kula da shi kuma ya kare. Kuma wannan daidai ne, yadda ba zakuyi ba, matar ta kasance mace mai rauni. Karɓar takardu daga mutum ƙaunatacciya, mace ta sake tabbatar da cewa yana ƙaunarta, ita ita ce babban abu cikin kauna. A ci gaba da wannan, ana iya kammalawa cewa ga mata, kyauta ba kanta mahimmanci ba, amma gaskiyar halin yanzu yana da muhimmanci.
Kuma tambaya mai zuwa tana fitowa: Menene ra'ayi na maza shine ainihin abu cikin kauna.
Wannan tambaya yana da wuya a amsa. Mutane nawa a duniya, da yawa ra'ayoyin. Amma, bisa manufa, dukansu daidai ne. Ga wani babban abu shi ne, wata mace za ta ƙaunace shi, ga wani dangi mai mahimmanci kuma kawai, da kyau, wani yana bukatar matar aure, wanda zai dafa abincin dare kuma ya shafa rigarsa.
Dukkan waɗannan mazajen da suke son su ƙaunaci ne kawai kuma masu dacewa. Bayan haka, mace ta kasance a kowacce lokaci fiye da mutum. Saboda haka, mutum da ƙaunar zai fi wuya a shigar da ita fiye da mace. Yana jin tsoron yin watsi da shi. Kuma don kauce wa rashin cin nasara, ya dubi yadda mace ta bi shi. Idan mace bata amsa masa ba, to namiji zai yi kokarin kada ya gina dangantaka da irin wannan mace. Wannan hakika ba gaskiya bane, akwai mutane da dama. Wani zai yi shiru, kuma wani zai nemi hankalin mata ta kowane hanya. Amma mafi yawa yana faruwa.
Daga cikin mata, akwai ra'ayi cewa maza suna bukatar kawai jima'i. Har ila yau, wannan gaskiya ne, amma bisa ga mutane wannan ba shine babban abinda ke cikin soyayya ba. Mutumin, mai son abokinsa, ya fi sauki. Amma, a cewar maza, idan babu jima'i a cikin dangantaka, to, dangantakar ba zata yiwu ba. To, kuma idan dangantaka ta bayyana, to, tabbas, wani mutum, a lokaci, ya fito da farka, kuma watakila ba daya ba.
Akwai, ba shakka, da kuma irin waɗannan maza da suke da jima'i akwai umurni na girman ƙunci fiye da dangantakar dake tsakanin namiji da mace. Bisa ga irin wadannan mutane, ainihin abu da soyayya shine dogara. Bugu da kari, na sake maimaita cewa yawancin maza a duniya suna da ra'ayin da yawa game da abin da suke daraja cikin ƙauna.
Har ila yau, maza suna girmama mace, don girmama shi. A wasu kalmomin, bisa ga maza, mace ya kamata ta dauki wurinta, kuma sanya su a cikin ɗakin abinci. Hakika, wannan wuri ne na musamman kuma kawai ya ce haka, amma ko da yaya yana jin damuwa a yanzu, gaskiya ne. Ko da yake mutum bazai tilasta masa ya yi masa biyayya ba, yi masa abu, amma idan mace ta rufe rigarsa, za ta tashi a idanun mutumin. Kuma idan ta dafa abinci, to, wannan zai zama kyakkyawan sifa idan za a zaɓi mace a matsayin mutum. Kamar yadda kalma ta ce: "Hanyar zuwa zuciyar mutum, ta kasance cikin ciki."
Akwai irin wannan mutumin da ke ƙauna da mata, kamar iyayensu, domin su ainihin abin ƙauna shi ne daidaituwa ta waje. Haka ma, duka bayyanar da hali. Wannan shi ne saboda gaskiyar cewa mafi yawan maza suna neman ba kawai wata ƙaunatacciyar mata ba, amma riga abokinsa, amarya, matar da mahaifiyar 'ya'yansa na gaba. Kuma, a cikin mutum, ba tare da sanin shi ba, duk ƙungiyoyin, tare da mahaifiyar 'ya'yansa da matarsa, mahaifiyarsa ce.
Babu wata muhimmiyar mahimmanci a cikin ƙaunar soyayya, wanda aka ba da hankali ga mutane, yana girmama mutuncinsa. A cewar maza, wannan yana da matukar muhimmanci a soyayya. A cikin fahimtarsa, idan mace ta mutunta ta kuma ta ba da abin da ya dace da ita, to sai ta fi dacewa da shi. To, mafi mahimmanci, wannan, ba shakka, biyayya gareshi. Wannan ba ma daraja magana ba, saboda sauyawa, akalla sau ɗaya, mace, a gaban mutum da yawa da yawa. A gare shi, ba ta zama mace ta rayuwarsa ba, amma mace mai sauƙi mai kyau.
Gaba ɗaya, akwai abubuwa masu yawa don zaɓar namiji mace, da kuma lokutan da maza suka fi son su a cikin ƙauna. A cewar maza, abin da ke cikin soyayya shi ne jima'i, da amincewa, da bayyanar da abubuwa da yawa da yawa, kuma dukansu sun bambanta. Alal misali, mutum na farko yana so matarsa ta yi kallo, kuma duk sauran maza suna dakatar da jaws, yayin da wannan na son matarsa ta kasance mai laushi, don haka kada ya jawo hankalin mutum daga cikin namiji.