An ba da wannan ma'anar ta hanyar ilimin kwakwalwa, kuma a cikin ka'idodin ka'idar - altruism, an fahimci matsayin kishiyar ra'ayi na son kai. Ina so in bayyana cewa son kai tsaye a cikin halin kirki shi ne hali, bisa ga abin da ake son sha'awa na mutum shine abu mafi girma. Saboda haka, girman kai da son kai da son kai yana da ma'anar ma'anoni, kamar yadda aka tabbatar da bayanin da aka bayar a sama. Amma wani lokaci tsakanin waɗannan ra'ayoyin biyu za a iya samo dangantaka ta kusa. Wani irin haɗi ne wannan, wanda zai iya haɗa ma'anoni biyu daban-daban. Amma a rayuwa akwai lokutta a yayin da manufa mai zurfi ta fi kama da son kai. Wani abu mai kama da shi yana iya kasancewa a cikin ainihin karin magana mai ban sha'awa - daga ƙauna don ƙi ɗaya mataki. Lokacin da mutanen da ke nuna halayen kullun ga maƙwabansu suna nuna ƙauna mai girma, wannan ƙauna ce.
Saboda haka, a wasu rikice-rikice na rashin fahimtar juna, yawancin halin da ake ciki shine mafi girman kai. Kuma a karkashin sassan tsaro a cikin psychoanalysis an fahimci ayyukan da ba su san komai ba wanda ya kare daga hare-hare daga gaskiya da zaman lafiya na mutum. A cikin wannan ma'anar, ma'anar kai hari shine, alal misali, kishi, kishi, fantasy, mafarki, rashin tausayi da sauransu. To, a wace hanya ne za a iya zama son kai da son kai? Altruism zai zama son kai tsaye a cikin lokuta inda tunani, ilimi mai zurfi, matsayi mai zurfi, ƙazantattun ƙauna da ƙauna mai ƙauna zai faru. Ina so in bayyana dalla-dalla akan kowannensu a cikin cikakken bayani. Manufar tsarawa tana da fassarar da ke gaba: shi bayanin mutum ne game da ayyuka da tunani wanda ya ba shi izini ya ɓoye kuma ya ɓoye dalili na gaskiya. Wato, wani mai hankali ya zaɓi wasu mahimman bayani game da wasu ayyuka da ke ɓoye dalilin da ya sa gaba da shi.
Hanya na gaba game da haɓakawa mai mahimmanci na nufin kawar da tunanin da ba daidai ba ko sake su da wasu mafi dacewa ga rayuwa. Alal misali, yara waɗanda, a lokacin yarinyar su, suka nuna mummunan zalunci ga mahaifiyarsu, suna nuna cewa suna da hanzari. Wadannan mutane suna da halayyar kama karya, halin su yafi kama da zanga-zanga. Hanyoyin kirkirar kirkirar kirkirar kirkira ne ga mutunta wasu don ilmantarwa ta mutum.
Misalin irin wannan hali shine matan da ba su taba samun 'ya'yansu ba, ana kula da su tare da haɗin kai ga' ya'yan dangi, sanannun. Hanyoyin kirkirar kirkirar ita ce cikakkiyar bambanci da nuna rashin amincewarsu. Wannan hali yana da muhimmiyar mahimmanci na uku a ƙauna mai ƙauna, lokacin da masu haɓaka suka zama, suna da kyan gani juna. Kuma manufar ƙarshe ita ce ƙauna mai ƙauna, wanda ke nufin halayyar mutum marar iyaka kuma yana ba da ƙauna ga sauran mutane, saboda abin da yake so ya karbi irin wannan hali. Mutanen da ke halin wannan hali suna buƙatar ƙauna, suna da mahimmanci a rayuwar wasu. Saboda haka, Ina so in zana layin a karkashin duk abin da aka fada kuma zana samfurin. Sakamakon ƙaddara daga sama, da ganganci ya zo don tunawa da ra'ayin cewa a tsakanin tsauraran ra'ayi da son kai kadai mataki daya. Wannan samfurin hali zai iya samuwa a rayuwa ta yau da kullum, ciki har da tsakanin dangi. Ina fatan wannan bayanin zai taimaka wajen kauce wa rashin fahimta wanda zai iya tashi.